It occurred to me today that I never posted pictures from my friend, Lisa’s wedding! Remember the Bachelorette party in Palm Springs? And then when this happened? And then my nail dilemma? I went with Harmony’s “Light Elegant.” Also, watch your wine intake at a rehearsal dinner, because this happened. What was I supposed to do? The groom’s father bust out this bad boy:
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Just a note that 99% of these photos were taken by the fabulous and amazing Zandy Mangold. He’s the real deal.
Before the dinner, we rehearsed in the beautiful Montecito sun:
Then come wedding day, I was more nervous than the bride!
I’m a mess at weddings. I’m better during the pre & post ceremony photo-shoots. Here are some of my faves.
My walking-down-the-aisle partner, Aras, and I were nervous as shit. We were murmuring things like, “OH MY HELL?!” and “DON’T TRIP!” and “SHOULD WE TRIP ON PURPOSE?!” and “NO, NO, THAT WOULDN’T BE FUNNY!” to each other the whole walk.
“Heigl’s problem is clear, even to Heigl, which makes the diagnosis that much more worrisome: In an interview with Elle magazine last December, she observed, “I’ve never really been America’s sweetheart, but for a minute I think that’s what they wanted me to be. And I had ‘em for a second thinking maybe I was. And then I opened my mouth and it was clear I wasn’t.”—
An in depth look at why Katherine Heigl sucks. And part of me feels badly because her husband is a member of my family’s country club, and I met her and their really cute baby once at Easter and from what I could tell, they were lovely. But she’s really just the worst.
P.S. The obnoxiousness of my above comment is not lost on me. My real life friends make fun of me all the time when I slide in stories of my childhood spent at a country club, but I had to set the scene. Everybody, let’s roll our eyes in unison!
“To protest a bill that would require women to undergo an ultrasound before having an abortion, Virginia State Sen. Janet Howell (D-Fairfax) on Monday attached an amendment that would require men to have a rectal exam and a cardiac stress test before obtaining a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication. “We need some gender equity here,” she told HuffPost. “The Virginia senate is about to pass a bill that will require a woman to have totally unnecessary medical procedure at their cost and inconvenience. If we’re going to do that to women, why not do that to men?”—
“It’s barely five years old, but the micro-blogging platform Tumblr already rakes in 15 billion pageviews every month. With all that buzz, we thought we’d showcase the best accounts out there (with some help from TIME’s Tumblr followers, who nominated their own favorites)”—
“It’s not a frequent topic of discussion, but doctors die, too. And they don’t die like the rest of us. What’s unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared to most Americans, but how little. For all the time they spend fending off the deaths of others, they tend to be fairly serene when faced with death themselves. They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care they could want. But they go gently.”—How Doctors Die
“On what he does most of the time when he’s not occasionally reading about soul-destroying trivial political bullshit: “I’m 84 years old. I drive around, I bought a lot of additional land, beautiful land around the river. I just drive around watching all the deer and all the turkey.”—
“While speaking at the First Baptist Church in Naples, Florida on Wednesday, Santorum claimed that the Left uses universities to “indoctrinate” young people for the end purpose of maintaining power. “It’s no wonder President Obama wants every kid to go to college,” he said.”—
Filed under: things my roommate does before 8:30am...
I don’t know how she does it, but Kara’s job requires her to be at her desk at ass crack of dawn. I would surely have been fired already. Somehow, she manages. As a result, I get phone calls from her desk while I’m still in bed. Today’s was exceptional. Something along the lines of:
Kara: Don’t worry I found it.
Me: Found what?
Kara: The music from Chloe’s solo.
Me: Oh, I was totally losing sleep, so thank God for that………
So if you watch Dance Moms (which you should), and you were particularly moved by Chloe’s 1st place lyrical solo (Maddie got 3rd! It was a moment), and you were just dying to find the music, don’t fret. Kara took care of it.
If you’ve followed me long enough, you know I swear by The Body Shop.
They don’t test on animals. They do good stuff, like donating to end human trafficking. Their products are unreal.
Yes, I know you’re probably thinking, The Body Shop? As in, the bootleg Bath and Body Works of our childhood? The place that sold Hemp products which was oh so scandalous when we were 10? Yes, that one. But they are the bestest.
And although I hate most Living Social deals, this one is worth it. Try it out. 10 dollars for 20 dollars worth of products. Do it. (And not just because I want a free deal if three of you purchase it. I genuinely support the company, and I think you will like their products!)
It came to my attention today that if a fire ever broke out at work, I would die.
Working on the top floor with the very important people has its perks. Need something fixed? DONE. IT problem? Call our personal guy. Have a security issue? We have our own guards.
Apparently not one of the perks? Living. We had a fire drill today. And we made it down two flights before getting so backed up, I had time to play a few rounds of Angry Birds before moving again. And then our stairwell let out into a chain link fence.
…As most of you know, I work at ABC in reality. Sometimes, we get strongly worded letters from “concerned” people and parents in response to something that aired. “Inappropriate for children,” “against family values,” or “teaching the wrong lesson” are some phrases that come to mind. And it’s not that the network doesn’t take these letters seriously, it’s just that often times they are sent to the wrong person. Eventually, they trickle down and wind up on the right desk. I catch myself wondering, who are these people? They take so much time to write and/or type a long, well thought-out letter to someone they don’t know. They are REALLY fired up. Well, let me tell you…
I get it now.
I’ve had more people come up to me in the last two days and ask me if Bruley can swim like Stella on Modern Family. This is IRRESPONSIBLE. This is TEACHING THE WRONG LESSON. This is an OUTRAGE! French bulldogs can’t swim. They have no boyancy. Their bodies aren’t built for water.
I am a sad panda. I’m so worried people are going to think Frenchies can swim. I close my eyes and see Frenchies all across America flailing around, splashing, and drowning. I want to write a strongly worded letter…and march across the hall… and hand deliver it?
Please. Spread the word. Consider this a PSA. Frenchies are our friends. Please use any and all safety precautions when around any body of water larger than a bathtub. (Even still!)
“British Airways is apologizing to passengers of a trans-Atlantic flight after a recorded message announcing the plane was about to make an emergency landing in the ocean was mistakenly played over the intercom.”—