October 2011
81 posts
The Kardashians Cheated In High School! |... →
This video makes me snicker. Having gone to high school with the Kardashians (Khloe was a year below me), I can vouch for Kris. All the methods she mentions were in fact common practice at good ol’ Marymount HS. Although, she dates Kourtney because by the time I was of age, the teachers had caught onto the calculator trick. As for Kim, writing on the inside of your skirt? Please,...
September 2011
56 posts
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Calling all my fellow book nerds...
Hi friends. My friend, Alaina, asked me to recommend a good book for her vaca. Things to keep in mind about Alaina:
She doesn’t typically read. At all. No fantasy-esq books. So no Harry Potter, Twilight, or The Hunger Games. No funky dialects or hard-to-read language. So no The Help or Everything is Illuminated. She wants an easy, beach read. But also not something totally far-fetched...
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'Sperm Donor' Tells His Fiance He May Have 70... →
I mean, what the eff?
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Urban Outfitters likes to torture me...
…they have the audacity to send me emails, trying to get me to buy things I surely cannot afford. But if I HAD to, you know, like if someone absolutely forced me to purchase absurdly overpriced fabulous furniture for my future penthouse, here are a few things I could make do with.
A mirrored bedside table for my bedroom, of course:
A colorful bench for a themed guest room. Because when...
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My friends get me. They really get me.
A friend, who shall remain anonymous for obvious reasons, sent me the following email. She knew that it would MAKE MY DAY.
“only u could fully enjoy this moment:
i am sitting on the throne cus i had to poo so bad but my nails were wet so i shimmmied my pants off and now im stuck on the throne with wet nails and cant wipe??? wtf hahaha
good thing i have my comp!! love u”
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So about that....
Remember yesterday when I was bitching about Obama taking over my neighborhood? I would like to recant that.
Obama, I would like to request you move the White House to West Hollywood. I FLEW home. Traffic was non-existent. Everyone was out and about walking around. (See LA, isn’t walking nice?) It was pretty fan-freakin-tastic.
I got home early, gave Bru a bath, and took a shower. When...
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Since our Pres royally fucked up Funday Monday,...
K and J, get excited.
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Love Obama, but....
His little trip to LA is really stressing me out.
Without broadcasting my exact address to the whole Internets, I will say the entire vicinity of my apartment is closed. Which I don’t get. Will they let residents in? How will I get home? My dog child is at home. The news keeps saying, “Prepare for traffic.” HOW DO YOU PREPARE FOR TRAFFIC? And what does it mean if your...
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WatchMy dog hates me.
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Lunch time pedis make me feel like a new woman...
You know the feeling. “I’ve GOT to do something about this. STAT.”
So you grab your keys and make a dash out of the office.
Approximately 43 minutes later, the situation is under control.
Polish: Essie’s Carry On (I Know, I broke my no-more-chipping-Essie rule. Sigh).
Shoes: Payless. New Jersey circa 2008. Still rockin it. And don’t you judge!
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Pity Party
Late night on Friday, there were extra Emmy tickets floating around work. It was date night, I was tired, over it all, wanting to go get home, blah blah blah. When asked if I wanted the tickets, I kind of gave a “meh” response. I called my date who said he would like to go but wasn’t dying one way or another. So I somewhat passed. I said I’d take them if no one else...
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I'm a sucker for BLUE.
Favorites:
NYU Girls Make ‘Arrangements’ More Than Any Other... →
so proud of my alma mater?
“Michelle Obama said Thursday that a pledge by the Olive Garden and Red Lobster...”
– AP report (via meredithbklyn)
she rules.
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One Day
On July 15th of 2010, I picked up One Day, which if you’ve read the book, you’d know that’s quite the coincidence considering the book takes place on July 15th of every year for 20 years or so. I loved it and knew it was going to be a long wait for the movie. Well, a few weeks ago, Kara, coworker Amy, and I made our way to the Grove for a Friday showing. They both wanted to see...
Spring 2012 Runway | Destination Kors (MK) →
Love me some Michael Kors, but does anyone else feel like Safari/Resort/Animal Print/Neutral tones has been done? And “Rolling in the Deep” is the music? Hello, they did that on Glee. Played, Michael. So played.
You have Congress, the POPE, and a former... →
Unimaginable.
Brad Pitt Explains Being a Satisfied Man on... →
In addition, the actor says, his marriage to Jennifer Aniston wasn’t the golden love story it appeared to be. “I think that my marriage had something to do with it,” he said. “Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”
I’m sorry, but I’d just like to say: Fuck you Brad. Team Jennifer always and forever.
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Important Announcement
My mom and I have almost nothing in common. She loves Jesus and George Bush; I fell for a half-Jew, and I’m so far to the left I might fall off the cliff. She thinks all reality television is trashy and pointless, and my first job out of college was Wife Swap. She’s emotional, and I’m just, well, not. But one of the few things I did get from her? An appreciation for nail...
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DANCE MOMS
Oh my shit, you guys. Are you not watching Dance Moms? Because you should. You should grab your best girlfriend, your couch, and your brain altering substance of choice, and watch Dance Moms. (Red Wine? White Wine? Beer? Pot? Hard stuff? Computer duster? No judgement here.) I’ll admit I was skeptical. I was actually starting to lose faith in reality television. (And that is saying A LOT...
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There's a title for this post somewhere....
I just don’t know where. Something about catwalks and fashion week and walking on a different type of catwalk and incorporating the word “meow,” should be happening right about now, but I just can’t get it all together in one witty or smart and not cheesedick kind of way. Sorry kiddos. Sometimes you got it, sometimes you don’t. I’m bust today.
But I do have...
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Maybe it's me...
While I was getting my coffee yesterday morning, I struck up a conversation with a coworker. I was once again reminded I should never, ever, under NO circumstances engage in conversation before consuming approximately 12 ounces of caffeine. Especially on Mondays. After a 72 hour bender of a weekend. The conversation went something like this:
Me: How was your weekend?
Coworker: Quiet. Next...
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Ryan Gosling 'Embarrassed' By His Own Heroism →
Dear Ryan,
You are supremely hot, even when using the word “gymnasium.” Please reference your stretched out bod anytime you see fit.
Sincerely,
Tinsely
What We'll Miss If Michele Bachmann Doesn't Last →
I love her. She can only do wrong, and I love watching.
