April 2011
75 posts

Upon seeing Kate, I think I made the same face the now infamous Gracie did. Uh…well….hmm….
Hear me out. Kate has been touted to be the hip, modern, fun princess-to-be. It was rumored she was going to choose Alexander McQueen. ALEXANDER MCQUEEN. GTFO. Amazing. I was expecting to be blown away. And the dress….well….yes, it was beautiful. But…it was so…safe. Immediately every news station flashed a side by side of Grace Kelly from 1956.

Not exactly hip and modern. Pretty? Yes of course, but just not quite, Good Golly Miss Molly!!!
And then Pippa. Oh HEY fun and cool younger sister, Pip! Now THAT was a knock ‘em out dress. Throw a train on that, and Kate would have looked AH-MAZING.

But I get that she wanted to go more classic with the dress. Fine. Whatever. But the 2 inch barrel curling iron, half-up-half-down, middle school graduation hair and the I’m just going to go run errands make-up?! I can’t. YOU ARE GOING TO BE QUEEN! Let someone do your make-up. Let 10 people do your make-up. And the “neutral” manicure. You’re killing me Kate. KILLING ME.
So I’m just kind of left with, “Ya, she was pretty.” I didn’t need Carrie Bradshaw. But when Posh shows up to your wedding with art on her FOREHEAD, you better SHUT IT DOWN as the bride.

I told you it was unpopular. All in all, she was beautiful and there was a sense of magic in the world, but I could have used a little more Oomph.
And in closing, I just want to say I loved when Kate smirked when William recited, “For richer or poorer.” Let’s be honest. They should change those vows to “For richer or ROYAL.” I’d smirk, too.
I’m sure they are lovely girls, but I couldn’t help but think….


It can’t just be me…..
I think “Princess Kate” has a nice ring to it. Too bad she’s not a princess?
She’s now the:
Duchess of Cambridge
Countess of Strathearn
and the
Baroness Carrickfergus
JIGGA WHAT! I thought part of the gig of marrying a Prince was getting to be the Princess. I might rethink this, Kate.
I would just like to say, if I were Kate Middleton right now, I’d be FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
Today, normal. Tomorrow, PRINCESS. A few decades, QUEEN.
And who’s watching? Oh, everybody. As in EVERYBODY.
What the WHAT.
1. Going out to the bar for “one drink” on a Wednesday night is never a good idea. Especially when green tea martinis on the rocks in mason jars are present.
2. Hanging out with a group of fun Brits while heavily drinking the night BEFORE the royal wedding is an epic, epic failure.
3. Bruley doesn’t understand, “Walk yourself, Mommy has a hangover and needs every last minute of sleep before work.” We’ll work on that command.
4. Californians can’t calculate the time difference between here and the UK for the life of them. I’ve heard “official” news reports telling me to wake up at 1am, 2am, 3am, and 4am to catch the live feed.
5. If there is any chance in hell I’ll be able to be up at one of the aforementioned hours (still yet to be determined), I need to be in bed right about…now. It’s 12:47 pm. F me.

A “Glee”-Gaga collaboration seemed unbeatable until it wasn’t. And the episode’s failure is an equally bad sign for both of them. Here’s what it means for Gaga: her rise to hysterical, ubiquitous star status happened with incredible speed. Now, she’s plateauing — or maybe even slipping. (If “Glee” fans won’t tune in for her, who will?) Plus, the criticism long-hurled against the singer — that her fame comes from outfits and controversy, not musical innovation — is finally catching up with her. Case in point: she releases “Judas” during Easter week to roil up the Catholics. Meanwhile, the only thing anyone has to say about the actual music is “sounds like Madonna.” Failing to reel in a “Glee” audience should teach Gaga that she’s got to work as hard as any other artist to keep her fans — and the recording studio, not the person-sized-egg-factory, is where that work should take place. Then there’s “Glee” itself. We’ve already complained that the show is neglecting the characters that made it so lovable — and going in circles with storylines. Now, it’s eminently clear that stunts like the 90-minute Gaga episode aren’t going to keep the show afloat. Which means serious change had better be in store for season three — change that includes some paring down.
And finally, someone gets it. Rest of the article here.
I could probably marry this man. Except for the whole, stage 5 liver disease from being an alcoholic. Let’s face it, this girl loves her booze.
But seriously, what a great dog rescue! Check out their site here.
My dog’s name is part of my blog title. Is there any question what I’d do?
I’m reminded of all those “dogs are not people/people are more important/why waste money on a animal?” statements and questions that pet owners get with some regularity.
And, you know, here’s the thing. If I could push a button, and some complete stranger somewhere in the world would die, but my…
Steve Whitmore, LA Sheriff’s Department
Filed under: Unintentionally hilarious. Please never let anyone have the ability to generalize how I might behave while incarcerated based on previous experience. I’m hoping they can’t even start a story, “This one time…”
Filed under: Things I didn’t think would happen before it happened to me.
Kristen, I used to watch you when you were a super bitch in high school. (Team LC forever.) I will say, you should have received an Emmy for your terminal bitchface and mean girl eye rolls. And let’s be honest, you had amazing hair for a high-schooler, but you are still a kid to me. You were in high school, like yesterday, right? Engaged! I can’t.