Oh man. This is a tough one. I was fuming when I saw the headline. Obama legalizing horse slaughter and consumption of horse meat in the US? Wait, what?
But then I read up on it. By banning horse slaughter in the US, we’re sentencing horses to a terrible death in other countries where humane slaughtering regulations aren’t as strict. If we ban the export of horses to foreign countries, horses are destined for neglect and abuse in the US. No win situation.
So if we must (and trust, I don’t agree we must) slaughter horses for meat, at least it is hopefully happening in humane ways here in the US. Here’s hoping Obama and Congress focus on strictly regulating slaughter houses until a better solution presents itself.
My mom decided to switch things up this year, and she delegated part of Thanksgiving dinner out to my sisters and me. I mean, how dare she. She thinks it’s “a lot” to cook appetizers and turkey and 40 side dishes and all the desserts all from scratch for 12+ people year after year after year. Weak.
This year, I’m in charge of appetizers. I thought it would be easy to come up with something, but it’s proving to be harder than I thought. My family is pretty nontraditional—more often than not, for apps we have empanadas and chorizo sandwiches from our Argentine market. We also do a lot of shrimp cocktail and cheese and crackers. But I can’t just throw something together or hit up Costco. This is for reals. She also asked me to lay off the heavy dips and eliminate anything with chips all together. What. a. biotch.
So…anyone have anything that will rock my family’s world? I created a pinterest board of potentials…I think the “for sure’s” are:
Just got a text message from my dog walker. One of the dogs ate my “insomnia” medicine. Truth: I don’t have insomnia, but I don’t think “absolutely motherfucking terrified to fly and goes batshit crazy on a plane without heavy sedation” fits on the prescription bottle, so the doc’s gotta do what a doc’s gotta do. Back to the original story. Both Kara and I had our freakout moment. But then we got the full story from the dog walker (bottle is chewed to bits, 12 pills are sitting in a pile), and I called the vet to double check. Based on their weights and the toxicity levels, we think we are in the clear. Chances are they might have had one each, max, so if anything, I’m coming home to a stoned dog later today. Dude, pass the bong, and let’s get some tacos.
I have to thank the good people of Nashville for an incredible trip. You know how on those polls, New Yorkers always get a bad rep for being rude? Well, I’ve never thought that was true. Until I went to Nashville. Southerners are EXCEPTIONALLY friendly. Perhaps the nicest people I’ve ever met. Such a pleasure. All the time. And Kara even made fun of me for saying “Oh shoot!” twice since I’ve been back. Go to the south(ish), drop your swearing habits. Who would have thought?!
Highlights of the trip:
Taylor sitting maybe 5 feet away from me during rehearsals. You know, just hanging out. Me and Tay Tay.
Speaking of, there was a lot of just hanging out. Jennifer Nettles and I are practically besties at this point. (Not really.) Keith Urban totally loves me. (Again, not really). But hey, Nicole Kidman smiled at me. (Yes, really!)
Rehearsals in general. It so incredible to watch people like Miranda Lambert roll into rehearsals with no make-up on, sweats, and wet hair, and she just NAILS it. Such TALENT.
The dude at craft services asked me if I was from the South or the North. I was so caught off guard, I said something like, “The West, by way of the North?” He smirked, and said, “HERE. Unsweetened.” I was almost offended, expect he got it right. Segregation is alive and well, folks. We are a divided nation based on tea preference.
Kelly Pickler. In general. If only I could really get into it..but less just say, bless her heart, she’s my new fave.
Carrie’s legs. Truly, killer in person. If wasn’t creepy to say something or reach out, I would have.
Miss Piggy improving. Here’s the sitch—I know she’s a puppet. I know there is a man under there, but when Miss Piggy is asking for more volume in her ear piece, it just moves grown men into borderline tears.
During the actual show, Coworker Amy and I decided to mosey on back to see Chris Young perform at the back of the arena. Apparently we ended up on camera. Oops?
When chatting with Scotty after the show, Coworker Amy told him that she won 75 dollars in our office Idol pool because he won. I then, ever so brilliantly, chimed in, “And I lost so thanks a lot!” We all laughed, and then when I walked away, I realized I basically told him I didn’t want him to win.
Speaking of, I DID tell Lauren Alaina I voted for her. She said “Thanks!”
I could go on and on. So many pinch-me moments. So many, “I love my job, this is what I need to be doing in life,” moments. So blessed to be a part of it. And now, here are some pictures:
Theme of the week, I tell ya. I know I’ve been slacking here, but it’s just been one of those weeks. As soon as I cross something off my mental checklist, 900 more things pop up. I catch myself saying, “Wait, WHAT?” roughly 16 times a day.
Anyway, let’s start with where I’ve been. Last Thursday, I found myself at the Jason Aldean concert through work. Thompson Square and Chris Young opened. I’ve been to a few country concert in LA, but this was a totally different type of country. The Sugarland and Taylor Swift concerts might as well have been the Royal Opera compared to the Jason Aldean concert. Perhaps I should have suspected it given his hits include “Dirt Road Anthem” and “Big Green Tractor.” Pay attention, that tractor song is gonna make an appearance later in this post.
In no particular order, things I did not expect at a country concert in LA:
-Trash-tastic faux cowgirls…ladies, you aren’t fooling anyone. Pretty sure real cowgirls don’t wear daisy dukes shoved up their asses, pink cowboy hats, plaid from Forever 21, and patent leather boots.
-Dry humping. Like it was a competition. All ages invited to participate.
-Decked out grandmas. I’m talking diamonds and lipstick and panty hoes with open-toed shoes.
-Christian worshipers. Hands up. Praisin!
-Stuffed rocking horses being tossed around like a beach ball on spring break.
-Marriage proposals. Plural.
-Tears. Lots and lots of drunk tears.
-Gay faux cowboys in matching rhinestone cowboy hats. Filming each other on their matching flip cams singing along to the words. Someone for everyone?
-LA men FIST PUMPING to songs about TRACTORS. In the city of “too cool for school,” I was particularly thrown by their enthusiasm. Sir, you live in a major metropolitan city. I’d bet you’ve never even seen a tractor up close.
-Sugar daddies and their ho bags. Lots and lots of older men with younger women. If I’m gonna bang Grandpa, I want diamonds and cars and mansions. Just sayin.
My 2 coworkers, our boss, and I were horrified, amazed, thoroughly entertained, and truly grateful for the experience!